5 years  ago I notice I have light depression, but it still not enough to killing me, but time by time it getting worst..and because of this I lost my job and relationship, that even make my condition going bad, and my family don’t understand what is depression, because of this I have a argue, fight and yelling at them, I feels like no one understand me.

after 2 years my life is totally a mess..everyday I feel like killing my self..and I don’t see and point and hope to continue my life, End up I brought a lot of sleeping pill and coal, but before I going into this step I still struggling about killing my self, end up I just have a thought, why don’t I spend all my saving and enjoy, i just want to feel how is living like, and sorry to be selfish but once I gone, I don’t have to care about anything anymore, end up I did it, by drinking everyday, just to get sober so these pain and mess won’t killing me that fast, so that I can sleep well whiteout insomnia and thinking tone of hit,end up my credit card, my saving all is empty and still have a lot debt to bank.and after a years finally I take an action on it, but it doesn’t work..I’m still survive..I took more then 70 sleeping pill and burn the coal as well, but end up I still here.

After this I start to seek from help from few psyscatrist and started to recover by medicine, currently I’m trying to helping my self, but however these medicine and the debt i left behind is killing me..is hard to survive, then debt and also the medicine, it cost me a lot..I just hope that I able to get some help for me debt and also medical fee, I been having medicine treatment for more then 2 years I would be happy if you could give a han:d. Right now I just want to live and survive..