Was left with no choice and had took loan from licensed money lender and my company , now with the salary I am earning I need to pay the loan I had took and sometimes was unable to pay the money lenders and they are hounding me , The stress I am going through no words can explain it , struggling to pay bills, struggling to save my wife life , struggling to pay the money lender , the only thing is making me go forward is the hope that she can be cured.Seeing her suffer more and feeling helpless had made me so depressed that the thought of ending my life had came to my mind a few times . she didn’t even get her DPS , stating she had opt out when she was only 18years old and there is nothing can be done even though she was young that time , and now we are in our 40’s . Many wonder why I am not treating her in a government hospital the reason was I did bought her to NUH and was refer to a Assistant Professor in Medical Oncologist Dr.David tan , but was told to stop the treatment as there was nothing much could be done and bring her for an holiday . I was told the same in 2017 jan when KK hospital found that she got stage 4 cancer that is why I decided to bring her to private hospital and that is where I was given hope , many told me that the private hospital they wanted money that is why they are giving me false hope , but how can I let my wife die ? even if the hope given might be false , there is a chance by treatment they can prolonged her life and treat her . When the government doctor is not able to help and knowing that how can I bring her to get treated there just because I am a hopeless husband . I had seeked help from my MP , government organisation and all are saying to bring her to a government hospital and there is nothing much I could do . To them it is just a person but to me she is everything . While under going chemo she had a retinal tear in the eyes and yes , I bought her to a gov hospital and had informed them about her ongoing chemo , and over there the attending doc did a bad job and she was already suffering from all the chemo on top of that the doc made her suffer more till now my heart cried thinking what she had to go through , She was referred to NUH by a private GP for suspect of retina detachment at eye surgery center on the 17th floor in NUH medical tower . We were seen by a junior doctor who refer us to a senior doctor . After few checks she was bought for the laser treatment . As a last stage in cancer she was weak and had went through several chemotherapy . We were told that the senior doctor could do the treatment for her but inside the treatment room the senior doctor let his students practice on her and the senior doctor was in a hurry to rush back home . After the treatment as my wife was in pain she didn’t told me what happen and we went back home she was in great pain that she cried a lot And in the end we had to do another laser treatment in the same eyes at farrer park hospital , and I still owe that hospital 2k plus. And she had a major operation to remove a large cyst last year and the wound had still not recovered yet , she had a tooth extraction recently and was in pain , She had a wound at her back which need dressing , she had a IV tube for feeding stitched in her hand , she is weak and can’t walk without support and constantly in tumor pain in her stomach and on top of that she need to worry about her medical and the outstanding bills. And every now and than she will have anxiety attacks , she will complain of feeling short of breath and sweating, when I am with her I will press her head till she manage to sleep and on top of that she got sores in her mouth . The suffering she is going through and the suffering I am going through words can’t describe it all , it is very painful , my heart , my mind and soul is feeling the pain , everyday I wake up with heavy heart and whenever I saw couples walking hand in hand or family walking with their kids I could cry internally for god to show mercy on us too. Please help us anyone !!!!! I am trying my best to make her happy , most of the times she could be angry with me for no reason , showing me her frustration , but I let her treat me as a punching bag to relieve her frustration on me , I had organised a surprise birthday party for her and had renewed my wedding vows . I am trying in all way to cure her , by treatments, by prayers, by keeping her happy. Every day I looked at the sky and cry out silently for god to save her , I had made up my mind if god manage to help her and stop the pain , and the cancer growth and make her as the active and bubbly person I had knew before I will sacrifice my life to priest hood serving god as a gratuity by going to India and sleep in a temple and beg for alm , I am willing to go into hardship in return of her cureness , This might be very difficult for others to understand but when you had done all you can and when god is still not answering you the only thing you can offer to him is your life for the sake of the person whom had been a part in your life and when you witness their suffering every day and you feel helpless . It all started in 31st dec 2016 , she had a sudden unbearable pain and I bought her to KK government hospital .Doctor told me she got 30% chances of survival, upon hearing the news I was very devastated we got a son who was in his first year in junior college and the only thought I had in my mind was to save the life of this woman who I loved more than myself whom I married in 1996 . For second opinion we went to parkway east private hospital and the doc there did an operation on her and took out the womb as it was full of cancer cells . The operating Doctor dr.heng recommended us to go to Gleneagles private hospital after her recovery time which is 3 weeks later . After 3 weeks later we went there and she was very weak by that time over there she was given blood transfusion and got a PET scan and the cancer which was removed through the operation had grown back and the tumor had grown twice in size because what she have is a very aggressive cancer . He recommended us to go to a ovarian cancer specialist at Mount Elizabeth private hospital and currently she is taking a treatment there . From 2010 to 2016 I had bought my wife to government hospital for stomach pain and she was NOT diagnosed with cancer at that time, doctors there says it may be the cause of food not being digested properly or gastric trouble or constipation . I blamed myself for not bring her to a private hospital , maybe they could have found out earlier and she could have been treated . I am working as a operation manager in a cleaning company and my salary is only SGD3400.00 after deduction of CPF and the loan I bring home only 1k plus and my wife is out of job from Dec 2016 . Please find below the Massage from her doctor ; I am sharing with you so you can understand how urgently she need help and how serious is her illness . From Doctor See at Mount Elizabeth Clear cell ovarian cancer especially one that is very aggressive is associated with very poor prognosis. Meaning at stage iii C (sarojini's stage), the overall survival is usually (meaning most patients) 2-3 years after diagnosis. There are very few patients who are cured at this stage meaning most patients who live beyond 5 years usually have to be on intermittent chemo after responding the first time. However of course there outliers (meaning patients who do exceptionally well). Financially the 6 months of paclitaxel avastin carboplatin followed by avastin maintenance for up to one year usually costs up to 80,000-100,000 in one year given the number of doses of chemotherapy. However there are other charges to deal with meaning the cost of blood transfusion, boosters admission for infection for nutrition etc, those sometimes it is not easy to predict. The poor nutrition can be addressed but not easy because there is a limit as to how much she can eat due to the cancer in her tummy. Intravenous feeding requires admission and central venous access which can cost up to a $1000 a day in hospital. Clear cell ovarian cancer is notoriously difficult to treat but we will not give up as Long as patient is under our care. please help , i will live only if my wife live .